The Abbot’s Notebook for October 19, 2016
Blessings to you! Once more I am home and happy to be here. The visit with my sisters and brother in Washington State and the class reunion in Oregon were all positive and joyful experiences for me. As always, I am happy to be home, which is where my normal life takes place!
Most of our brothers who vote have already gone for early voting this week. For many of us, voting is an important obligation of our citizenship. Not everyone believes that or thinks that way, even in a monastery. Always it has been part of our life here to respect those who vote and those who abstain.
This week six of our brothers renewed their vows for another year. At the same ceremony, five men entered the novitiate. There is always joy in the community when we see our brothers persevering in the monastic life and entering more deeply into the life. It is not as easy life that we live. On the other hand, I sometimes joke about our life and say: “Anyone can life this monastic life. At least for two weeks!” I joke this way because objectively our life is not really difficult. Sure, we get up early at about 3:30 am each morning—but lots of people do that simply out of necessity. We spend many hours each day praying—but that is really a luxury. We try to work for at least four or five hours each day—and I find that often I am working a lot more than that—in order to keep up with the various duties that I have. Lots of people work much longer hours.
The challenge of monastic life and that which makes our life difficult and impossible for most is simply the necessity to keep focusing on the will of God and trying to love others. From outside of the Monastery, our community almost always appears to be loving and caring. Inside the community, we experience all of the challenges of any group of people living together for a long period of time. That means that there are conflicts, personality difficulties, anger, envy, pride and all of the great vices are present within the human community.
If a monk is focused on God, then all of the challenges of vices and conflicts are relatively easy to resolve. It is when we are not focused on God that the challenges take on a life of their own. For me, personally, after more than fifty years as a monk, there is still a challenge to look only for God and God’s will each day. Certainly the years have brought about a stronger capacity to do that and my life is more faithful to God than when I began.
Many years ago I met a married woman who seemed totally focused on doing God’s will. Her husband supported her in her quest to seek God alone. She stands out in my mind as a person who truly sought God and was relentless in seeking God. I am not that relentless yet in my daily life.
How do we become relentless in seeking God and God alone? Such relentlessness can never exclude our obligations to our families or our communities. Rather, a person relentlessly seeking God is even stronger in the duties of their state in life. For instance, a married man or woman becomes an even better partner when they become relentless in seeking God. A priest becomes an even better priest when he relentlessly pursues God. And a monk becomes an even better monk when finally his energies are turned entirely to God.
The first thing to do is to begin to ask God to transform us. If we begin to pray every day some simple prayer such as “God, have mercy on me and help me today.” Our lives begin to change. But we must remain faithful to asking that of God day in and day out. For me, one of the times when I knew that my life was being changed by God was when I began to spend time every day just being aware that God loves me as I am, here and now. That is still a place where I take refuge.
This way of living is seeking the Lord cannot become just a habit, it must remain real, coming from the depths of my heart: “Lord, have mercy on me and help me today.” And I must return to that place of connection with God over and over throughout the day. Relentlessly pursuing God begins very simply by trying to listen to God, by praying to God and by waiting in patience. Just as I mentioned above that monastic life is completely easy in one sense, so also is the life of prayer and the life of seeking God.
What often happens is that we see no changes and so give up praying. We begin to think that it is useless to spend time seeking a God who does not speak to us or who remains hidden from us. Instead of persevering, we get discouraged. Sometimes I think about a young man falling in love with a wonderful woman. Or it could be the other way around as well with a young woman falling in love with a wonderful man. If there is any hope, then the woman or man must continue finding ways to see if the relationship can actually work—and usually the woman or man does not give up until there is a clear rejection. Falling in love is an enormous power to keep on seeking.
You and I must have that same commitment to seeking God. We must keep on trying no matter how many times we fail, no matter how discouraged we may get, no matter what else happens in our lives. The truth for me is that in the seeking, God gives me glimpses and sometimes awareness of His presence. My life has been formed by this search for God and even though I am no saint, my life is better for the seeking.
As always I send you my love and prayers and ask for your prayers for me and for the sisters and brothers of our communities. I will celebrate Holy Mass once this week for you and for your needs and intentions. Let us seek the Lord while He may be found!
Your brother in the Lord,
Abbot Philip
