The Abbot’s Notebook for January 11, 2017
Blessings to you! It is a relative warm winter day here at Christ in the Desert. We have had snow off and on during the winter, but nothing very serious. The temperatures go down to 4 or 5 degrees at night sometimes, but nothing below zero this time of year so far. Usually January 13th is our coldest day of the year, but not always.
There is an Orthodox Monastery of Saint Michael about 45 minutes away from us. We have a very good relationship with them and respect very much their strong monastic life. Recently three of our brothers went there to pray with them for their all-night Vigil for the Nativity of Christ. These monks follow the Julian calendar and so they celebrate Christmas about 13 days after we do. It is a real example of accepting another way of doing things. They accept us and we accept them.
This time of year in our monastery is always one of the most difficult periods of the year. The skies are less sunny, the days are cold and the big feasts and celebrations have passed and we must still go through Lent to come to Easter. It is never a surprise to me that brothers find this time difficult!
Father Christian began his journey to Rome this past Monday. As I have mentioned before, he will work for some four years in Rome, helping our Abbot President. His official title is Secretary and Chancellor of the Congregation. The same day that he left, our Brother Dominic Paulraj began his journey to India to visit his family in Tamil Nadu. Last Sunday our Father Joseph began his journey to Poland to care for his mother, who is in very poor health and most likely will die very soon. Today Brother James begins his journey to Vietnam for a regular family visit. And on Thursday, Brother Philip Thomas will return to India to help in the care of his father, who has terminal cancer.
I continue to pray every day for a miracle for the father of our Brother Philip. Even though such a miracle is not likely, I will continue to pray for that miracle until it is given or until the father of Brother Philip dies. So I ask you to join me in praying for this miracle of a recovery of health for the father of our Brother Philip. And we can also pray for the family because going through such a long, extended period of illness is difficult on everyone.
One of the most difficult situations in my life is to try to help brothers and then watch a brother make a decision which I am completely sure is wrong. Over the years I have had to accept this situation because it is impossible to insist that another person make a decision which I am sure is wrong but which he is sure is right. One of the aspects of human freedom is that we must respect and accept the decisions of others, even when we are completely convinced that such a decision is wrong and will only cause hardship and difficulty in the future.
At times, my heart is so sad because of decisions like that. Years ago, I remember one brother making a decision to leave the community some years after his solemn vows. I tried every possible way to change his mind. I offered counseling. I set up program in which he could have a 30 day retreat. I asked him what more I could do to help him make a good decision. But he turned it all down and left.
The amazing thing, of course, is that God never holds our bad decisions against us. Instead, no matter how often we make bad decisions, God is there, infinitely creative, offering us His love and working to draw us to Him and to make whatever we did turn out for our good. This takes a lot of faith and at times we will never understand until we are already dead and can see from the point of view of God.
What is important from the point of view of spiritual combat is that we must trust in God in every situation. When another person makes a decision that we consider really bad, or even immoral or evil, God never abandons them. So we also should never abandon them, even if our only way to be with them is in prayer. Sometimes prayer feels so useless and so weak and we are tempted not to believe that prayer has an effect. Yet at the heart of our faith, we must come to know that our prayer is stronger than any other kind of action. But it sure does not feel that way at times.
I think of my mother and her concerns about her children who left the Church or who ceased to practice their faith. I have met so many parents who grieve over the choices of their children. When one’s child leaves faith or separates himself or herself from the family, it is a really tough situation. Yet we cannot control other people and the decisions of other people. We can pray and we can believe that prayer makes a difference.
At times, I have felt that it would be better if we did not have emotions and did not care about others. I can relate to the songs in which a person states that they will never trust another person again or never love another person again. But over the years I came so see that this loving of one another demands of us a trust and a love and that all trust and love is tested in one way or another. Part of the way that we grow is by giving ourselves to one another and accepting the suffering which always comes with that giving. It is what Jesus Himself shows to us: give even to the point of death!
As always, I promise to pray for you and for your needs and intentions. I will celebrate Holy Mass for you one day this week and ask God’s special blessings on you. Please pray for me and for the sisters and brothers of all of the communities associated with us. I send you my love and prayers.
Your brother in the Lord,
Abbot Philip
