Blessings to you! Here I am at home again and very happy to be here. The visit to Mexico was very good and Abbot Anselm, Abbot Guillermo and myself were able to visit six communities in two weeks. It always brings me great joy to visit the communities in Mexico and to experience the life of faith there, which is quite distinct, but not different, from the life of faith in my own America.

Mexico is by and large still a land of incredibly deep faith. The United States continues to have a strong influence there, but--from my point of view--not always a very positive influence. The United States is still a land of faith, but a land in which basic Christian values are now being corrupted, dismissed and thrown aside. I love my country and value so much of what the United States has done that is good. On the other hand, modern secular values are now taking hold on every side. All one needs to do is what the decisions of the various courts throughout our land.

Just as in Mexico the only answer to the drug problem is prayer and conversion, so also here in the United States the only answer seems to be prayer and conversion. There seems to be no rational conversation possible about the values which now guide our country. Most of us seem to be set so strongly in our own way of thinking that dialogue, listening and discussion don't happen very much or at all. Once in a while there is a chance for true dialogue and listening and that is wonderful! Dialogue is not about winning or losing an argument, it is about truly listening to the other person with an open heart and mind.

Here at home in the Monastery of Christ in the Desert, the community continues to live its life of prayer and some small sacrifices in a joyful manner. We are still adjusting to brothers coming and going. Brother Gerard is gone for a family visit. Father Luis was supposed to go, but instead he got an infection and didn't go. Prior Francisco is in Mexico replacing Prior Ezequiel in La Soledad.

Brother Antonio Ortega will be going to Mount Saviour Monastery in New York, which is our mother house, as soon as he can get the proper visa. He will be helping out there for an indefinite period of time. Brother Bernardo will be going to Saint Mary's Monastery in Petersham, Massachusetts, and is thinking about transferring there.

Last week, when I was writing about obedience and mentioned that marriage also demands obedience, I receive some very interesting responses. One response cam from a man who had been married for forty years and whose wife died only a year ago. He was reflecting on the idea that I presented that married people need to make decisions together--and he is convinced that it is not really accurate.

I agree with him entirely. What I presented is sort of an ideal, which is never completely lived out in practice--neither in married life nor in the monastery. The man who wrote to me said that sometimes one or another partner\'s inclinations are being guided by something deeply irrational that would simply take too long to work out and sometimes a decision has to be made quickly whether the two agree or not. Somebody has to take charge. What saves the day is love and commitment. Then one does what the other wants, kicking and screaming all the way, only to discover much later the roots of their irrational objections and that the partner was right in being insistent. Working hard to come to an agreement on something is a good rule of thumb but no rule can afford to be rigid.

This is also my experience in the monastery. It is not that there is always this perfect obedience of a monk to another monk or to the superiors of the monastery. Quite often it ends up that the superior must obey the monk in order to save the monk's vocation. Sometimes a monk will end up obeying what seems to be a totally irrational decision of the superior and only later see the wisdom behind it.

The basic rule for the monk and obedience is that if the abbot or superiors are asking for obedience to something that is not immoral, then the monk should obey. These kind of decisions are called decisions of the practical intellect in the scholastic philosophical decisions. They are sort of basic decisions about what to do or not to do here and now. The deep mystery of freedom comes about, I think, when we learn to walk by the decisions of another person and become free from thinking that only our way is the best. This can happen just as easily in marriage as it can in the monastery.

With this kind of freedom, there is an opening up of the inner spirit so that the energies can be used for prayer and for peace in a way which does not happen when we are too attached to our own ways of thinking. None of this implies letting go of our deepest beliefs and convictions, but it does imply that a lot of our ways of thinking and acting are often not tied to these deepest elements of our life. We must discover what are our deepest convictions and beliefs--and that often only comes when we are really pushed or threatened for believing.

I want to end this particular letter by recounting the joy experienced recently by a man who had not seen any of his family for nineteen years. Life can be like that for all of us, when we finally begin to recognize that we are one in Christ. This particular man had left his family nineteen years ago. Over the years there were many times when he thought of having contact with them once more, but for many reasons, that contact never happened. Finally, someone began to show him pictures of his family and to tell him about what they were doing. So he took the step and connected with his family once more. Of course, he did expect some anger and rejection from them, but instead all of his immediate family rejoiced in finding their son and brother alive and well once more. Within an hour of meeting his family, it was as though he had never left. There was just incredible joy that he had returned. His father had died while he was out of contact but his mother rejoiced that he had returned home.

Many of us leave home in other ways, no longer keeping the love that is possible for our families or for our communities, no longer seeking to live in faith and in charity, no longer being able to put up with the defects and sins of our families or communities. When we follow Christ, we can reconnect in so many ways with all those whom we have pushed out of our lives. We can allow the mystery of love to reconnect us.

Let us pray for one another this week once more. As always I shall celebrate a Holy Mass for the intentions of all who read this letter. I ask your prayers once more for a miracle for Patrick, that he be completely healed of his cancer. I ask your prayers in thanksgiving for the man mentioned above, who has found his family and himself in a new way after so many years. Let us rejoice in God's goodness.

Your brother in the Lord,

Abbot Philip Lawrence, OSB
Monastery of Christ in the Desert
P.O. Box 270
Abiquiu, NM 87510